"I wonder where the rest of me went"

"I miss who I was. I miss who I was before there was you. I miss that I thought that I knew what love was. And I had conquered love. Bent my emotions to my will. I miss that I believed I was invincible. That I had loved the love of my life and I would never hurt like that again. I miss my naivety. I miss my silly beliefs. I miss who I was before I met you. I miss who I was before you saw me, before you made me look at who you saw. I miss who I was before I was aware that Shelley had a point. That he should have written our names in that poem because it’s about us. I miss me before there was us. And now it’s me again. But not the same. Before, being just me was not a deficiency. Now I wonder where the rest of me went. I miss me when I was fearless and uninhibited. When I threw caution to the wind and wore my heart on my sleeve. I miss me before there was you. "

Citind asta mi-am dat seama ca ultima mea relatie a schimbat foarte multe. I don't miss who i was at all. Eram o rasfatata. Vesnic nemultumita. Obisnuita sa stiu ca ma iubeste cineva si ca de fapt totul mi se cuvine. Nu m-am simtit invincibila ca fata asta care scrie mai sus. Nu imi lipsesc eu, cea de demult. Daca imi lipseste ceva acum, acel ceva este felul in care ultima mea relatie m-a facut sa ma simt. Lipsita de orice inhibitie, libera, nebuna. Regalata.

Nu stiu ce naiba am in ultima vreme de scriu asa:)) Vorba Donei, tot dulcele asta o sa iti faca o greatza intr-o zi. Poate incerc sa par un pic romantica? Ma intreaba toata lumea ce mai face baiatul ala, habar nu am. Dar celalalt? Cum sa fie doar un amic? Ca noua ne place de el..O alta voce ma intreba "ce vrea baiatul asta de la tine" si eu zambesc si raspund - o cafea.

Trebuie sa imi amintesc cum era cand ma trezeam senina. Nu inteleg de ce par asa de nefericita in scris. Cred ca asa de bine am invatat sa disimulez niste stari incat ..nu mai scriu. I wonder where the rest of me went..

POE HAUNTED



Ba da pa pa ba da pa pa...
Come here
Pretty please
Can you tell me where I am
You won't you say something
I need to get my bearings
I'm lost
And the shadows keep on changing

And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

Ba da pa pa ba da pa pa...

Don't cry,
There's always a way
Here in November in this house of leaves
We'll pray
Please, I know it's hard to believe
To see a perfect forest
Through so many splintered trees
You and me
And these shadows keep on changing

And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the promises I've made
And others I have broken
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

Hallways... always

I'll always want you
I'll always need you
I'll always love you

And I will always miss you

Ba da pa pa ba da pa pa...

Come here
No I won't say please
One more look at the ghost
Before I'm gonna make it leave
Come here
I've got the pieces here
Time to gather up the splinters
Build a casket for my tears

I'm haunted
(By the lives that I have loved)
I'm haunted
(By the promises I've made)
I'm haunted
By the hallways in this tiny room
The echos there of me and you
The voices that are carrying this tune

Ba da pa pa...

Father :
What is it Annie?

Daughter :
You think I'll cry? I won't cry!
My heart will break before I cry!
I will go mad